Personal / professional concerns

To answer this question we should at first be aware of what the word trust really means.

Trust is one of the basic components of a relationship. In most cases only those who are closer to you are in a better position to abuse your trust, this is applied to private or business relationships. Knowing this gives you a form of security.

It is Important to distinguish this from emotional conflicts.  Differentiate breach of trust from internal emotional conflicts. Sometimes we tend to mistake misunderstandings for a breach of trust, so be careful in declaring a breach of trust as in most cases this could just be human failures that could be corrected. When the willingness is there, trust can always be rebuilt.

We often struggle with some decisions for a long time. They keep us busy for days if not weeks. We are also aware that every decision has possible consequences, as well the uncertainty that comes with it. That’s why its good and absolutely normal to take as much time needed and go deep in yourself to think ten time about the pro and contra before making decisions

From my point of view, most people are just afraid of the so call consequences as they tend not to make out difference between “right” and “wrong” 

My advice is that you make an effort to understand and find out differences between what is right and what is wrong. Be ready to accept consequences when you make decisions.

First let’s be clear on what kind of truth we are talking about here and what could be destroyed? Please find out both.

Eg. 1) You woke up late for work, telling the truth to your boss would mean receiving an official warning that could lead to loosing your job. Here is most logical to find a mush suitable excuse like “My train was late”  

Eg. 2) Telling a child about the reality and truth about his / her family that might impact their life has more priorities than having the fear of them not talking with you after hearing the truth

First go deep inside yourself to find out how it was before. At what pointing time did you start to feel the threat? Did it result out of a dispute or you have noticed a long breach in dealing with each other within the relationship? A little break does not necessarily mean separation rather could help give the space needed for each other to see the situation better and to reflect by seeing the situation from other perspectives as many factors could be responsible for such situations. Therefore it should be treated as an individual Topic.

For the case you find yourself in such a situation and need some advice or neutral consultation then feel free to connect with me for a solution.

Like my mother used to say, a Relationship or Marriage should be seen as a never ending university, meaning the graduation could finally be achieved at our death point. As a developing process, you need to keep learning everyday of your relationship. Don’t be over convenience as love can fade out, and when out of sight or doubt occurs, try to trace back to the beginning of your relationship, to find out how it was like and how to regain that feeling. 

First try to recognize the problem or even find out is there really a problem? As in most cases we tend to address possible misunderstandings as problems. In other words, trying to make a mountain out of a molehill, that’s the reason why you should be very sure yourself that a problem has really occurred. From my point of view, most times misunderstandings or self-inflicted insecurities, which are not necessarily a problem but could be unnecessary conflict potentials. Sometimes by trying to solve a problem we only realize at the end this was just a misunderstanding rather than a Problem.

Since when has this feeling been with you? If this is a short-term situation as a result of arguments, then no need be alarmed, however if its lasting longer than you imagine,  then there might be a serious problem here. A conversation is highly needed here but it sounds easier than it is. Often one hears “It’s not on you” but in reality it’s maybe time to first look and ask questions to yourself as certain situations can often trigger this. Let take example! A woman after pregnancy, because the hormones and a new situation arises in your everyday life and with your own body or a change in your own inner attitude, it could also be a taboo subject that your partner finds difficult to address. First be sure whether it could be your fault or not, or whether you can change or improve something in the situation yourself. On the other hand it could be the case also that your partner is currently dealing with a situation that he/she is trying to process and there for distancing him / herself from you. If you have this feeling then give him/her the time needed without rushing. It could also be that sometimes you are unconsciously too brash. Concentrate on yourself, your partner will most likely come up to you when he / she needs you and is ready to do so.

What is it about? Is it something serious or just a “Triviality”? Something does take a long time to be forgiven. Everyone knows the saying “Time heals Wounds” but the question is: how does forgiveness works? When are you ready for it? To forgive means two ways: to forgive someone you need to continue with or forgiving someone who will be out of reach for you.

1. It’s about a family member, spouse or close circle of friends.
2. A stranger who directly or through a situation coursed you e,g. a serious incident on which you have no intervention.

Forgiveness is important in every way, because it sets you free. It is an act of self liberation and a process of healing as well. Therefore accept first to heal and liberate yourself and soul. This is the best prerequisite for this, because then you will be able to take the first steps of forgiveness and as well do yourself a favour.

Everyone knows differences of opinion too well, but who decides which opinion is right?

If you want to stop a situation from escalating, this is smart of you! Then try to give in to get the situation at first under control, according to the motto: the smarter give in.

As mentioned above, it doesn’t automatically mean you were wrong. Here it is important to bring calm to the situation in order to restore a neutral basis. Of course, there are different disputes that have different dimensions or even serious backgrounds. However, if it is a “Normal” relationship argument, where nothing is to be lost, then it is advantageous to act as described above.

Making rational decisions can mean blocking out emotions completely. The situation is particularly important here. This can be an advantage if it is worthwhile and you are sure, for example, if it affects your own life. You work in a company, earn a good salary, but the working atmosphere is very stressful for you. Do you decide to retain the well earned money or do you change the job in order to be happier and more satisfied in your daily working world elsewhere? If you make a rational decision here, you decide to change the job. This can be transferred to a wild variety of areas. You should separate rational decisions from emotional decisions. Women in particular often tend to mix this up.

By nature it is easier to blame others than to touch your own nose first, as it is more convenient to search the fault in others first. In general we want to find someone to be blamed for our situations. If we are not honest with ourselves, we will not discover the truth either. Often we are blinded and fail to see reality. If you’re the kind of person who feels this way a lot, start asking yourself the questions of what you’re doing wrong.

Violence is a very special and sensitive topic. Everyone knows that it is a bad quality, to say the least. Often it results from anger or uncontrollable emotions. Were there specific situations or triggers that triggered this violence?  It could also be that everything was fine at the beginning of the relationship and the violence suddenly enters a relationship. Every relationship has a beginning point.  Suddenly there comes a point where that experience can come into a relationship. Does it have internal or external triggers? First and foremost, it is important to identify changes in an ongoing relationship. Talking about such situations is very important to sort things out, Therefore, I advise you to consult someone about this in order to change and filter this situation. Possibly you can contact me not-binding and anonymously.

Often we tend to lose sight of the problem. If the child differentiates itself from you as a person, the timing here is important to note. Has there been a change? Has something changed in the child’s life, family, environment or has there been a change in your own life? As matter of fact, many parents struggle with this problem, especially during puberty. Children grow and puberty brings along many changes. The body changes, the way of life begins to be different and many things are no longer what they used to be. If there was a good basis between you and your child, which no longer exists in this form, it is important to find out: maybe time to find new ways has occurred. Often we are blinded and realize when it is too late. This distance can also have different origins, therefore it is situation-related and can not be answered paschal, as it depends on individual circumstances. Do you want to know more or are you directly affected by this topic. Please do contact me with out obligations to find a better solution here.

Put you in the shoes of a manager, what kind of task does it have?  You will find out that it has many tasks and different departments to manage everyday. We often find ourselves in situations in which we are not prepared, unpredictable, spontaneous and unplanned. Create departments in which you act. Sort your life and assign each one specific time and tasks. Good time management can help you here a lot. So you are ready for all the areas that you already have or will come to you in the future. 

Eg. You have a normal job and work in a company, and wish yourself an improvement in your job to be promoted to the position of the head of department.  You have to be aware that you might need to invest more time in this position.  Meaning you can no longer throw in the towel at 4:00 pm to make your way home to your family on time because something urgent has come up or you are now responsible for other employees whom you have to stand by everyday. When you are aware of this, you can start this step into the new position. But if you are not, you might find it difficult to deal with it everyday. However, this is just an example.  But since this question has to do with individual situations, I will encourage you to have a personal conversation with me about this, in which we both can then specifically address your concern.